How I met my husband--our fairy tale

Greetings and salutations!

Yesterday marked an important day for Adrian and me--we celebrated our first wedding anniversary. It is frightening how quick a year can pass. I would say 5/5 of my "official" followers know our love story but I cannot think of a better time to write it down and save it on the digital space.

Yep...a sexy lady

Officially, I met Adrian when I visited London to stay with my then fling "J". At the time, Adrian had very long lady-like hair and I was jealous over its honey hue. He was heading off to the states to be a counselor at Camp Towanda (I know all of my Jewish friends know and probably played Towanda in soccer or boccie ball). We chatted about camp, the good ol' U.S.A. and that was about it. I was in Ireland for the summer, wrecking my body with Bulmers and getting my first tattoo, so we would miss each other.

Fast forward a year and I graduated, dated more men with temporary work visas and landed a job in media. I was living on the UWS with my nearest and dearest (five room apt...yes that's a lot of chicks) when my friend from London, Stuart, asked if he could visit and do a road trip. The road trip was from NYC to Canada and included Stuart, Adam (aka Kitten also a friend from my abroad journeys) and Adam's cousin Adrian.

The Awesome Foursome on a
road trip that changed my life

To speed this story along as this is a blog not a novel--initially Adrian was not keen on me...in the least. He thought I was brash, anal, controlling, boisterous, potentially manly and he was right. I thought he might be a bit too short for me as I was rocking the highest of heels those days (note:in these heels every man was too short for me. I made linebackers look like wee-little men). So we were not looking for love in each other.

However, being stuck in a car with two men on the prowl (yes, Stu and Adam) Adrian and I spent way too much time together. I would think that Adrian would claim "Stockholm Syndrome" as to why he fell for me but one night in Montreal magic happened. Magic comes in many forms, this time it was in beer and vodka. While our friends went off to a strip club we drank, shared stories, drank some more and took a cab two blocks to our hotel. Magic for sure happened and by morning I was smitten.

The rest of the trip was normal. I knew I liked Adrian but could not stomach another long distance relationship. He had been through the same tumult with another girlfriend. But we were both sad to see the trip end. I felt my heart tear as their cab drove away but chocked up the tears to something in my non-existent contacts.

I thought that was it...

Exactly 72 hours later my work sent me to London to help with a New Business pitch. I worked for a few days and then had the weekend to my disposal. I messaged Adrian and stayed with him in his tiny room and in his tiny bed. We went on a date to Brighton with Adam and I even rode a mechanical bull. In those few days, I officially fell in love with Adrian Laming.

We sustained our relationship via Skype and had five-hour long conversations almost every night. When you are long distance you have no choice but to just date...maybe have a little fun on camera (sorry roommates for the thin walls) but in the end we just talked and learned about one another.

Over Christmas, I visited Adrian and had the best week of my life. It was my first Christmas so I was unusually excited for an adult when it came to Santa and pressies. I might have pushed over his one-year old niece trying to open my gifts. We went ice skating, I maimed my body twice with tattoos (sorry parents) and spent time with his family...falling further in love with the Lamings as a unit. When I left, I cried so hysterically that a Virgin Air staff member walked me straight through security as I was making other travelers nervous---any time you are late to a flight CRY it works!

Our LURVE faces

We saw each other once more before I made an interesting proposal. Adrian was stuck in a job that did not use his artistic talent so he was pondering going back to camp. At age 26, I imagined he would be the oldest camp counselor and potentially be called "pappy". In truth, I thought this would end the relationship because it meant that Adrian's future was put on hold again and I would only see him during "Parents Weekend" when we would tour the camp in a golf cart and eat Hebrew National hot dogs and watermelon. So I offered that he move in and get a job in fashion--start his career and use his degree. I think I might have sold it with my amazing cooking skills and the fact that I could clean better than a hotel maid---he has since learned the truth.

For months I applied him to every fashion internship possible, redid his resume and pulled an all nighter to complete his portfolio...maybe my best work to date. To escape the apartment full of females, we moved to Queens to start our life in our own place.

About five weeks into his internship, they offered him a full time position because he is unbelievably fabulous (not biased in the least). One slight snag....he was not eligible to work in the states.

I knew this would eventually become an issue as I did my homework and spoke to several immigration lawyers. It was not fair for Adrian to continue an internship, make no money and eventually be deported. So marriage was quickly on the table. I think I shocked him with how cool and calm I was about the whole thing. But I loved him and I was not going to let a little thing like immigration stand in my way. I bet he is happy about my anal, controlling behavior now!!

The scene of our blessed affair.
<3 Queens

We decided to get married on a Sunday and by Friday we were officially hitched in the Queens Courthouse. My parents attended, his parents in spirit and the judge was a Jew from Flushing...how quaint. We spent the day wandering the city and eating at Da Nicos in Little Italy. There might have been a little karaoke jam sesh with a group of lesbians from the south. But it just added to the occasion.

Since we married so quick, he did not have time to propose. So our engagement happened after we got married with 80 candles and 22 sunflowers and a tearful "Will you marry me". It was the most loving memory to date. We had another reception with his family in attendance and exchanged our own vows. Perfect is the word I am looking for.

Maybe our story is not a traditional fairy tale and maybe our marriage doesn't follow the norm. All I know is that I love Adrian with all my heart. There is much more to our story and it will trickle out on this blog slowly and surely. He is the most wonderful husband and one last mushy note....he is my happily ever after.

My prince charming... a blushing british bride

Borough-Tudes: Queens is the King

New York City is arguably one of the most amazing cities in the world. I will not say it is the best because there are plenty of contenders vying for the top spot and it would be impossible to choose. I know this city well as I have lived in the tri-state area the majority of my life and as a professional I have always worked in Manhattan.

Manhattan is a fun island...but it has nothing on the boroughs.

Each borough in the NYC area has a specific attitude or borough-tudes. Brooklyn is offbeat and alternative, Bronx is proud and boisterous and Staten Island...well they have the fist pumpers and a ferry. Manhattan is lacking an identity or perhaps it is bland in comparison to these well-defined borough-tudes. (Side note: very much aware of the stereotypes I am calling out....but are they that far from the truth?)

 

Favorite building in Queens: 5ptz

 Queens is the best of the boroughs. Yes, I am completely biased but I have an argument. Queens is the leader because it encompasses all of the other borough-tudes.  It is alternative, offbeat, boisterous, proud and I am pretty sure fist pumpers are somewhere in Flushing. A main reason Queens has all of these characteristics, and many characters for that matter, is due to the fact that Queens is a haven for immigrants.

When Ellis Island closed they made way for Queens to welcome all our international friends and peers. In Sunnyside, my home base, we live next to a family from Korea and across the hall is a family from Ireland. On our floor alone we must have eight different countries represented.

When I was looking to move out of Manhattan, my realtor stated that Queens is the United Nations of the boroughs. Everyone is represented and each culture stands out rather than blends in. Queens Diplomacy 101: Furniture being tossed out will end up in another person's living room.


Taking someone's thrown out Ikea furniture.
Bright side: it was already assembled


My apartment building offers multiple aromas and when the holiday seasons circles around you bet we are representing all cultures and religious practices. I feel bad for my Polish super, Alec, who has to remember all of the holidays like Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas and several others that I have never seen before.

The restaurants in Queens are not the norm. We have Pete's Diner (legit best BLT) but that is as close you will get to "American food" as the other restaurants range from Turkish to Indian to Peruvian to Spanish to Greek to Lithuanian to Japanese and of course rows of pubs serving true Irish stew and black pudding (not snack-packs my friends).

I formerly lived on the Upper West Side where the only populations I ever found were a hefty gathering of Orthodox Jews and Colombia students. It is a beautiful area, full of bagel and schmears, but it lacked variety. I find that most of Manhattan operates this way. For a city that is dubbed the "melting pot of the world" it seems like plain chicken broth vs. the other boroughs.

No knock to my Manhattaners. Your part of the city offers a lot to do and see but I am happy with Kim Lee my Korean neighbor and the O'Leary family that lives across the hall. Alec the super even sent me a Christmas card this year with "Happy Christmas" in both English and Polish.

Queens simply embodies all borough-tudes and let's face it, a town called Sunnyside cannot be beat. It trumps the Pleasantvilles of the world for happiest name of a neighborhood.

P.S. My dad hates that I live in Queens because 30+ years ago many areas in Queens were a bit rough and tough. My dearest dad, you are nearing your elder 50's and as you have gone soft and sweet so has Queens :)


Adrian and our neighborhood banner