I survived Cannes...barely

Hello five followers!

My apologies for the lack of the blogs being posted but I have just survived the triathlon of advertising...the Cannes International Festival of Creativity. For Corp Comm peers it is a mix of writing, event planning and negotiating your future fetuses to leverage your position against others. Basically, my blood, sweat and tears went into coordinating and executing a robust program for all of our partners and colleagues.

I will not go into my work as that is separate from what I personally experienced AND I am sure my company would not be thrilled with our backstage secrets being revealed.

While I have visited France before, I think the nine days spent in this country put things in perspective.

These are my learnings straight from France...again from my point of view.

Nadim, our French friend who explained
the wonders of olive oil

1) The French either love or hate Americans. There is no middle ground or luke warm feelings, they either laugh with us or laugh at us. The French do not pass judgement until you speak. I believe this is because they are trying to decide if we are American or from another English speaking country that they prefer such as the UK or Canada.

As soon as I spoke I either received, "Ahhh American, hooray!" or I would get a scowl, some cruses in French and then a lecture in French on why I sucked. I obviously preferred the first reaction but it seemed the latter was what I received most often---at least I learned to recognize french curses...what an education!

2) If you do not know the language do not try to speak it. I convinced myself that my minor in Spanish would take me far in France. I am not sure why I believed that because it could not be further from the truth.

The few times I tried to speak French I would get looks of confusion or horror. Even a simple "merci" can offend and ruin the impression. French is probably one of the most beautiful languages, and I managed to make it sound like I was trying to speak with gravel or glass in my mouth.

This was particularly difficult when ordering food. If the waiter did not speak English it was going to be a night of hand puppets. For whatever reason I thought since my mouth could not explain what I wanted, then my hands could. I was waving my hands trying to simulate a steak, omelet or even croissant to a very confused waiter. Many of them smiled to then curse me in the kitchen and spit on my food  resembling an ingredient in the Bearnaise sauce.

3) Stress and rushing do not mix with the south France. I was in Cannes to work and ensure that our events went off without a hitch. That meant running around like a crazy woman.

I might have bee rushing but the
view was fantastic

The first day in Cannes, I was juggling dozens of tasks and interviews and I was literally running up and down the Coisette without a thought of what I looked like. The Americans understood my rush and event supported me like I was in a race. They gave me water, pats on the backs and the occasional high-five. The French scratched their heads and looked for smoke or a fire as if that was the only reason to rush. Several times I was yelled at because it just seemed so odd for a person to run outside, in a dress and there be no natural disaster like a tsunami causing the sprint.

4) Lastly, all of France seemed numb to my jokes. In an attempt to lighten the mood with humor, I was actually causing more tension. When we were having a meeting, I was pooped on by a bird. It was not like a little poop hit me, no, it was like a flock of seagulls had a bad curry and unfortunately my dress looked like a toilet.

I tried to make a joke about this to the three french ladies that worked the concierge desk and I got blank stares. If getting shit on while in a meeting is not going to produce giggles then I am simply not funny in France and I need to give up.

So those are my lessons straight off the plane. The french folk are beautiful people but it seems that Rebecca Laming is much more charming/funny stateside. Next trip to Cannes I will arm myself with funny french one-liners. I will also learn basic words like bread, water, chocolate croissant, pain, stress and anger.

Also stay tuned for more regular blogs as I am slated to be home with the hubby for the summer..yay! Now we can bicker over dinner and whether or not the A/C should stay on throughout the night.

My wonderful husband decorated in my return.
Now was he happy to see me or tapping me out of the apt?